What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did the mom with cancer get for christmas? radiation poisoning

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the boy have cable? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: why id the bird fly away from the boy? A: cuz he was scared

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Wanna know something funny? Your face

thumb_up thumb_down +18

There is a black guy, British guy, and a Spanish guy in a room. Wait that'll never happen, black people hate Spanish people.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why did Katie fall of the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Katie

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When life gives you oranges, hit kidswith 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didn't Steve finish his homework? He didn't want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did bobby fall of the swing? He had no arms -Knock knock -Who's there? -Bobby -But how? -I knocked with my diick -Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops