we all know sammi has a penis

Yesterday, I was hosting a party, and there were a lot of people crowding around some fruit punch I made all trying to get a glass... Whoops, it appears I forgot the Punch line.

What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

Q: Why did Sally not like her trip to Hawaii? A: A volcano erupted and killed her whole family.

What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

what's orange, round, that like to play and kill poeple and not in a video game? a) a freaking orange b) a super ball c) a dog painted in orange d) samus aran e) none of the previous answer

Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a B**ch.

A blind man walks into a pole.

A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

In soviet Russia - some people were poor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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