Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

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Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because all they have to do is shoot, steal, and run.fctswity (sultably

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One time I masturbated by myself

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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Women's sports.

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Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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Knock knock Who's there? Joke Joke who? Auntie Joke Great, could you bake me those cookies I like.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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What happened to the Californian who drove off into the sunset. He died. You can't drive in the ocean.

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops