A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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What do you call a black man yelling into a crowd? a preacher

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Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

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kiss me?

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What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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What do you call a bear eating another bear? A cannibal.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

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Black Person Eating Fried Chicken

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who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

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Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

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I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

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Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

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Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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