Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

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what did the lawyer say to the doctor? hello.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

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Holy fuckfarts! I did mention I am at my mothers place right? What am I saying? What am I typing? Marry me now!

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

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1 friend request facebook: ignore. Nuff said

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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whats are the similarities between a dolphin and a bus? they both have wheels, aside from the dolphin. it does not,

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What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

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Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Two blonds are driving to Disneyland. While there driving they see a sign "Disneyland: left" So they started crying and headed back home.

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Michal j. fox has Parkinsons disease. He is tired of losing at jenga

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The WNBA.

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, he was hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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