What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i got one question Screw You

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whats black and white and slides on its belly a penguin

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

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Why did the chicken kross the road? It didn't because it was a highway and it got hit by a bus.

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Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

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What happens when you shoot chuck norris? he dies

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I farted!!!!! t'was smelly??????? I LIKE CRABS! #tomato problems

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What do you call a black man in a truck A driver

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

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Penisland

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Somewhere in prison- Germany 1940 Janurary, Tuesday, 630PM: "Why doya' think you're so innocent" "It was only a jew!"

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Two aspies don't walk into a bar.

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what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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