Why Was Did Jill Cross The Road? She Needed To Get To Work.

Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

A black guy walks into a bar... he sits down and has a drink

A Jew and a Nazi walk into a bar... 1 year later they are married with a baby on the way

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

What do you call a hard working black man? A hard working black man.

Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

What would be worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts.

If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

why did the cute baby start crying?? because its feet were eaten by rats.

Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does anyone really care?

How did the girl get hit by a car? Better question, How did the car get in the kitchen?

Guess What? What? The gludeus maximus of an avian farm bird

what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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