Roses are red Violets are blue My dick can talk And it says it wants you

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so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Urine.

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Guy 1: I had a Energy Drink the other day, I crashed. Guy 2: Really? That must of sucked. Guy 1: Yeah, the family in the other car died.

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A military serviceman returns home from a tour of duty to find his wife in bed with another man. He feels betrayed and files for divorce, then later meets a more faithful woman with whom he has a more fulfilling relationship.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Tim and Eric

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yo mama is so fat she has to wear large sized clothing

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hi patrick

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Pokemon go: Team mystic

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A creationist, an evolutionist, and Neanderthal Man walk into a bar. They order two beers and a glass of red wine. The bartender asks: "Will that be all?". The evolutionist says "Yes"

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A friend of yours tells you his version of The Aristocrats. You just wasted about 5-20 minutes of your life.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? There was a huge pile of dead babies blocking his path.

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why did the zack fall off his bike because his mum thew a frege at him

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why did the chicken cross the road? I Lied, it was a cow not a chicken and it was a highway full of speeding cars slamming into the cow body until it would stop moooooooooooooooooving...

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Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Your Mom's sooo fat that when she jumps into a pool her splash attack does damage :P

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What is the science of classifying living things? Racism...

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What's worse than having the name Riley Bathurst? being shot in the head by a black guy.

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a psychopath, that's why.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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What's worse than finding out you have aids? Nothing. Actually I lied. It would suck being an illegal immigrant.

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What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

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What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They have the same middle name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops