A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Q. What did the blak guy say to the other black guy? A. Hey.

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I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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A priest walks past a mailbox with the number 666 on it. Nothing happens, because it is an ordinary mailbox.

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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I share two rooms with my mother.

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A man who can't spell walks into an Arab.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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