What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

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What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

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What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

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Explain the term 'Standard of Living'? Not having sex with diseased and obese women.

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A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

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Give me thumbs up!

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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Why did the woman fall off the skateboard? She hit a rock.

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Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

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I used to make jokes about taking arrows to the knee then i beat the game

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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Q: What do you call a ginger with no soul? A: Common

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hipsters

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Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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do not read this(this is intended to be read)

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There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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