ass in my face ? no

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? bullshit!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

O.J. Simpson. What would you do in that situation?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wy did the chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Explain the term 'Standard of Living'? Not having sex with diseased and obese women.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Give me thumbs up!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops