What do you call a bear eating another bear? A cannibal.

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a man walked into a bar ouch

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Q: What's up? A: Definitely not a plane, due to an unfortunate hijacking and terror bombing shortly after departure. There were no survivors.

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american government

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

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Knock, Knock ..... ..... No one is home, they've been evicted.

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> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Write Your Own ___________________________________________ It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ____________________________________________ I have read and agree to the Terms of Service- VIEW TERMS OF SERVICE

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. A. Knock, Knock! B. Who's There? Not Suzie.

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whats blue and fuzzy?.... blue fuzz

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What happens when you drop the soap in Prison? You pick it back up and go about your business.

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What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

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I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

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But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

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Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

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What was jesus's first miracle? He made a blind man walk. And for the stupid people out there jesus's first supposed miracle was making a cripple Walk

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A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

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How did the suicide bomber die? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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