A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

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Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

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Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get away from KFC, which was directly behind him.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

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i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

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How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

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what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

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why are you adopted? cause no one loved you.

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Its a bird! No, it's a plane! Oh... so it is.

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I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

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Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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