three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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Worst joke ever

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Idk

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Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

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why was the boy sad...because scooby doo shot him with a harpoon

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

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Q: Why can't Eric drive a car? A: Because Eric is a rock

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What did the famed say when he lost his tractor I lost my tractor!!!!

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What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

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Wanna here a joke? Canadians.

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girls basketball

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" So the horse says, "My ex-wife just got full custody of my kids and I'll never see them again."

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What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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