what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

thumb_up thumb_down +24

...this makes a cop throw a car and then call "inception!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why was tommy so sad?............because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anthony Dephillips is handsome

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An atheist walks into a church

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

25

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There is no joke here, stop reading.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Have you seen the movie "Constipation?" No. It hasn't come out yet! Of course there is no such movie in production and no plans for such a movie exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

one swipe, i call this one the cinderella story if you HAH! know what i mean, Paul....are you ok?....nooo...., you know the lettuce in antarctica is pretty questionable

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

[Jewish Joke] Some Guy: OOOOHH I GET IT Me: Anne Frank-ly, how did jew nazi this coming?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

69

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why? Whats wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops