Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

A married couple lies in bed, making out. They must really love each other.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Death is inevitable.

where wally? wallys a myth.

So a moose walks into a grocery store and asks the clerk, who is a penguin, "Where's the bread?" And the penguin says "On isle three!" But, when the moose gets to isle three... The bread isn't there!

What is white, sticky and tastes great? Milk

Its a bird...its a plane....it IS a plane

what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

What do you call a group of black people? A group, you racist.

What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

A Priest, A Pedofile, and a Rapist walk into a bar. He Orders A Drink

modern love

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? A Boy Scout comes home from camp.

Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a horrible pedophile and has deeply seeded emotional problems

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

Land Rovers

what has the same importance as mothers day? fathers day

A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

What did the black guy do to the hooker, he took her dead body out of his trunk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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