A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

Two men walk into a bar... ..I didn't say what type of bar...

Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous and could cause much harm if handled without prior knowledge of how to use them.

I dont know, are you a tomato?

Why did the plane crash? The pilots had brain damage.

Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

Knock Knock Who's there? its the police mam your son has been killed by a hit and run driver, the driver was an alcohol

(Put joke here)

What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

Why did the chicken cross the rode? It was being chased by a fox and did not want to be eaten.

what do mexicans like most. icecubes

black guy graduating high school

Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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