Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are green I'm bipolar

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

-Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? -No -Niether have they

Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

Yo mamma's so old... oh way no she's dead

If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

what's 2 + 2? i don't know that's why i'm asking you

how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

brainfart

What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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