what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Woman rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two cats were in a bathtub. They both, however, were uneasy the whole time, as it is common sense to know that cats do not like being in water.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A priest walks past a mailbox with the number 666 on it. Nothing happens, because it is an ordinary mailbox.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

White people talk like this 'HEY' Black people talk like this 'YO' Hundreds of thousands died in the civil war.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

69

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did a second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did a third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

thumb_up thumb_down +24

An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops