Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

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Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what would you like to drink?". The horse, unable to comprehend english, just nods and proceeds to shit on the floor

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What isn't funny? The holacost.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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What do you call a homeless person with one leg? Rob.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

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what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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what happened to the man with no arms or legs when he was pushed down a hill? nobody knows he is still going ........................................................................

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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