Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

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Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

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How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

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A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

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Woman rights.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

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Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

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Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

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whats hard, its not what you think a penis

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

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My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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