why did the cute baby start crying?? because its feet were eaten by rats.

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What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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Q: How did the black man die? A: He got hit by a car, and we all know that this is painful.

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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How do 5 gay teenagers walk? In 'One Direction"

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Q: why id the bird fly away from the boy? A: cuz he was scared

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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what do you call anybody eating at mcdohnalds? hungry, diabetic people

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Whats not green and cant pee? Not a pea!

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some of these so called "anti-jokes" are real joke s- they don't belong on anti-joke. they are very funny but are traditional jokes that use cliched non-sequitor as punchlines.

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Male penises.

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What is a black guy's favorite hobby? Stamp collecting.

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A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a B**ch.

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Q: What did the latino kid get for christmas? A; Nothing because he died two days before

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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What did the blonde say when she tripped down the stairs? Nothing she was unconscious and had a serious concussion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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