how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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So a seal walks into a club..

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What is White over Black? Society.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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Justin Bieber is a good singer.

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How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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Good luck on your finals everyone!

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So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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What's worse than 10 babies in one trash can? One baby in 10 trash cans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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