What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

where do you find sunglasses at? the store

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

What did the famed say when he lost his tractor I lost my tractor!!!!

Q: Why can't Eric drive a car? A: Because Eric is a rock

Wanna here a joke? Canadians.

What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

girls basketball

What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" So the horse says, "My ex-wife just got full custody of my kids and I'll never see them again."

What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

there once was a guy named james who like to play video games he was told one day that he was gay and he immediatley consulted a priest for reconciliation

Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

Homosexuals are gay.

What's the difference between a black guy and a piece of chicken? They were once both alive and innocent. I lied about the black guy.

What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

A Irishman walks into a bar... he suffers severe head injuries.

How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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