What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

thumb_up thumb_down +32

knock, knock! who`s there? it`s me ! who me? yes!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Woman rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

i like pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops