Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

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Yo mamma's so old... oh way no she's dead

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

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My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

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what's 2 + 2? i don't know that's why i'm asking you

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how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said, who's there? KNOCK KNOCK OH MY GOD, WHO IS IT??? Yes, we have your daughter here, she was caught doing drugs on school property.

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What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A white guy, a black guy, an Indian guy, and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. They drink in moderation and discuss their children, the current state of the economy, and global politics before retiring home to their families.

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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The Pope

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Mind your own business.

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What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

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how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

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brainfart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops