What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

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How long does it take a Jewish man to pleasure his wife? There are many factors that go in to pleasuring a woman, none of which are readily measureable

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im gonna sue mcdonalds i asked for a hamburger and it was a beef burger -_-

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Q: What's black and white, and red all over ? A: A penguin in a blender.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Multiple Personalities So do I Me to Don't forget about me!

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How do you know when you're on a Jewish golf course? The players don't yell 'FORE' they yell '$3.99!' @Obsequiously

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why were Tamika and Tyron afraid to get into the water? They weren't

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Penis.

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Why does little susie enjoy her life? Because it was her birthday 364 days ago.

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Dear emma brown i would appreciate if i could have my dick back, the you squeezed of wwith you ass cheeck -jackson edwards

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What goes up a smokestack instead of down? Murdered Jews, when they get cremated.

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Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

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A guy in a truck delivering furniture runs over a frog. Concerned for the frog, he pulls over and runs back to the frog and asks "Are you ok?" The frog replies "Yeah, you want to buy a cupboard?"

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A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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What do you call a black kid with dead parents? Depressed

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops