When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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What's worse than having AIDS. Being Black.

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why do all good things come to an end? that is one of the mysteries of human existance.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had a seizure.

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What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

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so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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There is a British man, a Mexican man,and a American man on a boat. The captain sad the boat is carrying to much weight so the each have to throw off something they have to much of. The Brit throws tea, The Mexican throws tacos, and The American throws the Mexican.

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What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

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So there was a blond, a brunette, and a red-head. They walked out of the salon very happy with their respective dye jobs.

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An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

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what's brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the monKey fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one

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Do you want to French kiss? What are you, racist

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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how do you find will smith in the snow? with rescue dogs

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What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What happened when the young boy farted. It smelled. :)

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Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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