What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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Q: What's white, sticky, and is swallowed by most women? A: Ice Cream

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terry stockton is straight

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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vagina, hehehehehehehe

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar. They notice that there's only one stool left at the bar itself. They sat at a table with four chairs. They had a delightful time.

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Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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On a scale of 1 to drunk how ten are you?

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Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

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why are black people good at jumping and white people aren't? That's stereotyping people .... anyone can be good jumping as long as the practice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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