A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

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What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

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What did the Pope say to the little boy? Look both ways before crossing the street

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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Q: What's white, sticky, and is swallowed by most women? A: Ice Cream

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terry stockton is straight

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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vagina, hehehehehehehe

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar. They notice that there's only one stool left at the bar itself. They sat at a table with four chairs. They had a delightful time.

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Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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