A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did a second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did a third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

thumb_up thumb_down +33

There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did little Tommy sink to the bottom of the pool? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call an Arab on a plane? A passenger, you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down +29

3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops