Your Mum's so fat, she's going to die.

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Antijoke the book. Seriously it sucks ass, do not bother, they only included the very worst ones.

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Mr Webb *Hit keyboard loudly* -...

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig rolls in the mud.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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Chuck norris survived rapture.

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I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet I wouldn't put U and I together. I'd put my dick in your mouth.

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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what did the chicken cross the road? because its a chicken

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Tell me a joke Tell me a joke! TELL ME A JOKE!!! ...Womens Rights

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Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

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What is red and tastes like parsley? Red Parsley

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The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Look out there's a bus in front of you

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Q: Whats worse than a dead baby in a bag? A: Please just make my hamburger.

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What's a cow's favorite vacation spot? the slaughterhouse.

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If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

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Jameson: hey peter peter parker: what Jameson: do you know what my favorite kind of beans are Peter: no Jameson: van de camps

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Violets are blue, Roses are red. The sentence before was completely irrelevant, but I needed something to say before I tell you, Your family's been murdered by the KKK.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well, he graduated in 4 years with a degree in chemical engineering due to his diligence and good work ethic. He now has a well paying job that allows him to support his wife and two kids and to pay the mortgage on their large home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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