How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

What is long and black The unemployment line

People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

Whats a black persons favorite flavored cake? fried chicken.

What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

Roses are red Violets are blue I rather sleep in the class Like a boss in the school -HairyBoss

What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

how many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? usually one but depending on the severity of the patients' case the lightbulb will be changed by a person who is willing to offer their assistance as to prevent any form of accident taking place.

Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

A black man in a country bar.

Zach Barlow

Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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