If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

i don't get it...none of these are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did a second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did a third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

thumb_up thumb_down +34

knock knock ... no one was in

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

vagina, hehehehehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Black people

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops