A military serviceman returns home from a tour of duty to find his wife in bed with another man. He feels betrayed and files for divorce, then later meets a more faithful woman with whom he has a more fulfilling relationship.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Guy 1: I had a Energy Drink the other day, I crashed. Guy 2: Really? That must of sucked. Guy 1: Yeah, the family in the other car died.

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Pokemon go: Team mystic

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Roses are red, My watch is gold now get on your knees and do as your told

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Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

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why did the zack fall off his bike because his mum thew a frege at him

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What do you call a black guy that drives a plane? A pilot

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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A friend of yours tells you his version of The Aristocrats. You just wasted about 5-20 minutes of your life.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? There was a huge pile of dead babies blocking his path.

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A black guy walks up to the cash register at a gas station with his hands in his pockets... He pulls out a 5 dollar bill and buys a pack of gum.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I Lied, it was a cow not a chicken and it was a highway full of speeding cars slamming into the cow body until it would stop moooooooooooooooooving...

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Your Mom's sooo fat that when she jumps into a pool her splash attack does damage :P

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Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a psychopath, that's why.

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What's worse than having the name Riley Bathurst? being shot in the head by a black guy.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They have the same middle name.

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what's brown and sticky? a turd.

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Billy. Oh, come on in. You could have just knocked on my door or rang doorbell without saying "Knock Knock" though, that's kind of childish.

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How do you turn a frown upside down? You cannot do such a thing because frowning is the act of sadness. Therefore you cannot nor should not change a persons attitude.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampon? A tampon doesn't cry when it's hungry or tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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