Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

hi

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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