Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

thumb_up thumb_down -18

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -66

2 women were sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

thumb_up thumb_down +130

Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops