What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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2 women were sitting quietly.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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Racial Equality.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops