This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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Test

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops