Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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obamas trench

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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