How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

do want to hear a joke? Women's rights

Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

Wombat monkey juice.

What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

Knock Knock! Who's there? Joe Joe who? Your friend Joe OK come in

What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

Wow, so today is 9/11? Yes.

How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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