How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

a Black Swan walks into a bar......,,,.she then has hallucinations and imagines herself having lesbian sex with Mila Kunis...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange. Orange who? The orange that can talk and knock on doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man went on the bus and sat down next to a white man. The white man looked up from his magazine and stared at the black man. They then chit-chatted and enjoyed their trip.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats long and green? weed

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops