if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

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A walrus walks into a bar

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When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

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Looking for propane accessories? Well look no more!

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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woman's rights

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

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The Mexican word of the day is JUICY. Tell me if juicy see the cops.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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An Irish man walks out of a bra.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Q: What's worse than a rainy day? A:

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why is the black man black? because he isnit white

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops