- Anti Joke

A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

Hear the one about the deaf guy? Neither has he.

Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

knock knock come in

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why was there a black guy in the back of a police car? He was caught stealing

What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

Proof reading

What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.