three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

What do Molly and Sharon have in common? They both annoy me.

A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

What did one guy say to another? Womens rights..........

What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

What bad thing could happen if you gave a black man a gun? ....stop expecting some racist punchline!

What kind of a prediction is THAT?

Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

why was the boy sad...because scooby doo shot him with a harpoon

Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

Nicolas Cage

how many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?lets go play!

Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

One time Chuck Norris cried. He felt slightly better after the experience, but, unfortunately, his grandmother still died of cancer.

Who graduated top of their class, got their degree two years early and lead a very successful life? Not you

Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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