Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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Why did the man try to lick his elbow? Because he read a chain email saying no one could lick their elbow and he wanted to see if it was true. You will probably try to do it now too.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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What did the white doctor say to the black doctor? We both went to medical school.

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a black man a chinese man and a mexican man are all on a plane. they land safely and continue with their lives.

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Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

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What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

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What is 4 letters and made out of wood? Wood.

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What do you call a white man flying a plane? A pilot. What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? Also a pilot.

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?" Brunette: "I don’t know." Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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Tom has 24 cupcakes Tom then ate 24 cupcakes what does Tom have? Diabetes Tom got diabetes

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Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

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A Irish man walks our of a bar

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Wombat monkey juice.

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Sophie Cameron is Gay

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What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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