What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did a second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did a third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

wanna hear a good anti-joke? no, anti-jokes are a waste of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did little Tommy sink to the bottom of the pool? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops