Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

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whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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Barack Obama.

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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why did the man die? because he died.

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What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops