why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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Once upon a time, your face.

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Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

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9/11

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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British Dentistry

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops