What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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JFK

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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Jews.

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

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Yo momma is SO black.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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