Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

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Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

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Haikus are rigid, Their structure gives them beauty, And if you ignore the structure they kind of don't make sense and are bad.

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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