Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

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who broke the little boys window? his abductor/rapist.

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matt shut up

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

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ObamaCare

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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