Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

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what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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How do you make a Trucker cry? Kill his family and chop of his arms.

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

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What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

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Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

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What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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why did the internet crash? it didn't

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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Yeah Aodhans been typing up everything strting argument along with taggart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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