Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Once upon a time, your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -66

How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +173

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops