Why i Hate people. They are alive. The are breathing. The are near me.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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9/11

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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