Why didn't Helen Keller drive? With all that time she spent learning how to read and write despite being blind and deaf, authoring numerous books, and being a prolific political activist; she simply did not have the substantial time to acquire a driver's license.

How did the Jew his German neighbor? Every morning the Jew says hello and the German replys hello

Why was there a black guy in the back of a police car? He was caught stealing

What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

Proof reading

What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

Knock knock Come in No you supposed to say who's there Oh, who's there? Jennifer Come in No, you supposed to say Jennifer who Oh, Jennifer who? Forget it

roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

Joe: it says gullible on the ceiling Jack: yes, I wrote it -by Ross

how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

knock knock come in

If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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